I wasn't going to, but let's talk about the other side of.... (it's lengthy, but hear my heart)
Cold Play Kiss Cam
Their picture has gone viral with people sharing and re-sharing the pictures, the posts, the memes
Condemning their actions.
Without thought to how
his wife/her husband
his kids/her kids
may feel every time they see those pictures shared.
But, you're on their side
Shaming this man and woman,
And making a public example
For all to see
That cheating is wrong!
Yet, how many other wives/husbands has this happened to that didn't get "cold played" and publicly exposed?
They not only deal with the shock and pain of finding out their husband or wife cheated on them, but then once the divorce is finalized
and that cheating spouse goes on to marry the other person
Instead of seeing their pictures posted
Exposing their sin
Shaming their actions
With comments that "Cheating is Wrong!"
They see people 'love' their pictures
And leave comments, such as:
"You look great together!"
"What a great picture of you two!"
And I've been told concerning a couple that cheated on their spouses
then married each other:
"They're both so much happier now."
It's not about being happy,
It's about being holy and right in the sight of God!
How are your words affecting the victims?
....Every time they hear or see those words spoken/posted, it is pouring acid onto the already open oozing wounds in the heart of the previous spouse. (I'm not talking about my husband's or late husband's situations, although they're applicable.)
I've sat and talked with wounded women and men whose cheating spouses have went on, remarried, and receive positive attention from their posts, pictures, and achievements.
I've seen the pain in their eyes as they're told they need to forgive. They need to get over it. They need to move on.
It's not that easy.
Especially when the kids go to visit the new step parent and pictures are posted of the 'new happy family.'
The kids are told that's their 'bonus' mom or dad, now.
The betrayed spouses see your comments and likes....and it hurts. And it's a hurt that some have yet to recover from....even years and years and years later.
I know we teach and preach
about mercy
and forgiveness.
And we need to
Because God does
For those who are sorry, truly sorry, for their sins and past indiscretions.
(Not those who go on proudly, making excuses for their sin)
This is not meant to be a condemning post.
We all need God's mercy.
But we must not forget the spouse (and the children)...those that we personally know....who have suffered the deepest wounds from this betrayal and how it makes them feel.
They may seem angry.
They may seem bitter.
They may be abrasive.
They may do or say things that make you raise your eyebrows and wonder.
And some would use that as a reason to excuse the cheating spouse.
But look deeper
Much deeper
and realize they're hurting.
A hurt they feel every.single.day
The wound is deep.
A wound that affects their thoughts, emotions, and actions.
I am not trying to cast stones or add feelings of condemnation to those who have truly repented of being unfaithful in the past.
(If you haven't truly repented, then I hope this post helps you to feel conviction that leads you to repentance.)
I did not intend to post on this subject.
I have x'd to remove the pictures I keep seeing shared of this adulterous affair because i am sick of seeing their pictures paraded.
But this thought would not leave me.
I am saying what those who are hurting from betrayal do not openly say - not because they don't want to - but because many do not understand the pain that post likes, loves, and comments inflict.
When they do speak, they have been chastened and told to forgive and let it go.
It's easier to say and so much harder to do.
They were one flesh according to Bible.
Betrayal is a tearing apart of that flesh.
Instead of condemning the victim,
in our efforts to restore the fallen
we need to understand their pain
and help bind up their wounds.
Look into their eyes
See their pain
Help them heal
Rather than adding to their hurt.
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